LA Dodgers Surpass Cowboys As Gayest Team In Sports


LOS ANGELES, CA — After decades of total dominance, the Dallas Cowboys have been dethroned by the Los Angeles Dodgers as the gayest team in all of sports.

“It’s a real Cinderella story,” said Dodgers owner Mark Walter. “Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined us being this gay.”

Despite humble beginnings, the Dodgers have transformed into a gay juggernaut over the past several years. “We put in the hard, gay work,” said Dodgers manager Dave Roberts. “Let me tell you–no one outside that locker room believed we could be more gay than the Cowboys. No one! But our players, our front office–we kept believing. We kept showing up, day after day, fully committed to gayness. Now here we are, kings of the gay mountain. This accomplishment belongs to every Dodgers player who laid the foundation. We stand on the shoulders of gay giants.”

As the Dodgers celebrated their stunning upset, the Dallas Cowboys organization was rocked by the news. “I’m speechless,” said owner Jerry Jones. “It’s going to be tough looking in the mirror at night and having to ask myself, ‘Could I have been more gay?’. We did everything we could–left it all out on the field. It just wasn’t gay enough.”

3 thoughts on “LA Dodgers Surpass Cowboys As Gayest Team In Sports”

  1. It’s up to baseball fans and consumers now. We say Bud Light this team and and send a message to the MLB and other corporations. I realize this is a tall order, because it’s up predominantly to men to make this happen, and we deserve some pleasure in this world, but, if we don’t send the message to these corporations, it’s only going to get worse. We have their attention after Bud Light. Was that a flash in the pan? Did people mean it? Are baseball fans willing to defend God, defend the Christian faith, defend Catholicism, defend children, defend decency, by depriving themselves of baseball?? One hopes so.

  2. It’s getting so that a person can’t even have a cold one and watch a baseball game without supporting demonic causes. Please don’t let my Astros go down this unholy path.

    Am I the only one who feels like the wheat and chaff are starting to separate right in front of our eyes?

    Babylon Bee is definitely being challenged to come up with satire that exaggerates actual events these days.

  3. They are fabulous!
    Play in the new Adidas men’s bikini you sporty spice bois.
    Groundskeeper mow a rainbow in the outfield.
    The first 1000 fans get a free butt plug!

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